I have learnt after much study and some lived experience that the phrase “As long as you’re happy and healthy” can be extremely upsetting for some folk, as it can be unachieveable and therefore hurtful.

While I don’t personally have an experience of prolonged depression or generalised anxiety, many folk do and they are worthy of love and care and support.

I am extremely health focused but don’t enjoy health privilege, so I know what it’s like to hear this remark and wonder what it even means.

Some of my friends cannot get the NDIS despite having very real justifications and would benefit from supports – it would make their quality of life and “health” exponentially better. Some can’t afford diagnoses; some can’t prioritise diagnoses; some have obtained diagnoses and still can’t get support.

Some say and write such statements to fat people, as though you are only worthy as a fat person if you are happy or healthy which is entirely false. It goes without saying in my world where I count many fat people as my nearest and dearest that they are some of the best people I have ever known.

I remember Weight Watchers in my 20s and 30s where they constantly said to spend time with people you want to be like and avoid people who sabotage you. They were essentially saying “Don’t hang out with fat people who are ok with being fat” and “Don’t hang out with people with healthy relationships with food who enjoy eating a wide range of foods include joy foods”.

If you are only hanging out with or experiencing life with those who are healthy, happy or slim, perhaps expand your circle of friends a bit more. You will find some hidden treasures … some of whom literally may even be unable to leave the house.

We are all worthy of peace, love, laughter – even the unhappy and unhealthy. And I will sacrifice my own health to help make it so.